Premasteration

My job is so endlessly repetitive, that it amazes me I have the will to continue. What drives us to do such boring, time consuming things in order to survive...you could hardly call it living. They even structure work so sternly that your free-time mimics the loop, and your weekends are frantically spent in such urgency to enjoy oneself, that you simply end up repeating the routine. Fun that has become familiar, and contrived in it's spontaneity.

Even the thought of getting away, breaking out of social structure, fleeing on a much needed break abroad has begun to lose it's lustre, and take on the same monotonous grey shade as everything else. It's probably from the frequency of the thought in my mind without action, and yet I nearly prefer the anticipation. If I went away then upon my return, it seems like it would be so long before I earned the right to escape again... It's a testament to my optimism, that I should think of things with such a sunny outlook, and think of nothing but the end, before I've even given myself a chance to begin.

Stupid Calendar Phrase #3

"If you don't know where you are going,
you will probably end up somewhere else"

That one actually gave me pause. If I start taking these things to heart, I'll have to put myself out of my misery. I mean it was compiled by Ryan Printers Ltd.

Jesus, this blog is nearly as bad as my journal for inspiring bad feeling. I only need to log in, and the bitterness is upon me... of course it could be looking down the barrell of a career in administration. I always knew I was destined for great things..